PHOSPHENES

by Tessa Ruben

Vanessa Cuccia photographed by Eva Zar

Chakrubs is a brand of sex toys made from healing crystals, designed to “bring a sense of sacredness to your playtime.” The stones come in a variety of shapes and colors such as Rose Quartz, Indigo, and Jade. Unlike the stereotypical sex toy, you could easily leave one out on a table and pass it off as home décor. This aesthetic speaks to the philosophy behind the products themselves, which go deeper than your average battery-operated device. The point of using a Chakrub is not just to feel physical pleasure, but also to get in touch with your natural energy, divinity, self-awareness, and wisdom. Considering those potential benefits, the price point (individual items go for about $100-200), seems like a serious bargain.

In the cultural climate of 2018, the Chakrubs concept makes a lot of sense. Reality TV star Spencer Pratt hawks healing crystals on social media. Celebrity activist Amber Rose recently launched her own line of vibrators. Why not combine the alluring promises of spiritual awakening and sex-positivity in one pretty-looking package?

But in 2012, when Vanessa Cuccia founded the brand, this was not such an obvious idea. During our conversation, I was reminded of how much has changed in just a few short years. Burning Man, an event that brought ritualistic burnings to the forefront of our Instagram feeds, only began selling out tickets in 2011. Girls, the first post-Sex and the City hit TV show to spotlight female sexuality in sometimes uncomfortable ways, premiered in 2012. The #MeToo movement was still nearly unimaginable; that year, Harvey Weinstein was named one of Time’s 100 Most Influential (Johnny Depp wrote in tribute: “No one gets to the top without an occasional scrap.” Very true, Johnny!).

Thus while Chakrubs’ success (the brand is currently sold in fifty stores worldwide and recently closed a deal to be stocked in Urban Outfitters) seems inevitable in hindsight, it likely would not have arrived when it did, if not for someone with a deeply personal belief in the product. Vanessa Cuccia really believed. Indeed, the story of how Cuccia created the brand contains elements of redemption, self-discovery and sexual awakening; the same promised in the crystals themselves.

Cuccia grew up on Long Island. Her father was a chiropractor who practiced holistic medicine. Her mother experienced what she calls a spiritual awakening when Vanessa was young, and subsequently became clairvoyant. So Vanessa was raised with the belief that we are more than just physical beings. She also grew up believing (like most young girls) that sex only happens when you fall in love. This is why, she says, she felt so confused and disappointed by her first sexual encounter, with her then boyfriend, which she politely describes as “not exactly consensual.” She stayed in the relationship for six years. Yet throughout that period, she felt so out of touch with her own pleasure that she, as she puts it, “went numb.” At the age of 22, when she was living with in California with her longtime boyfriend, something snapped. “I just sort of had an epiphany. I was in my prime, in my young 20’s. I realized I wanted to enjoy sex.”

Around that time, Cuccia was getting deeper into spirituality. After the breakup, she moved in with Jordan Pearce, a spiritual guru and blogger, who introduced her to a community devoted to higher consciousness. She was an aspiring musician, and she paid the bills by working at an upscale LA sex shop. One day, a visitor at Jordan Pearce’s house brought over a healing crystal carved into a unique shape. “This would be a great sex toy!” she blurted out. She recalls the mostly-male spiritual devotees in the room looking around “like, ‘what the hell did this little girl just say?’” Nevertheless, she knew right away that she was onto something. She says that she experienced the inspiration for the products as “a spiritual download,” with the name, Chakrubs, appearing immediately in her mind.

While the Chakrubs idea was still percolating, another guru of sorts (who will remain nameless) stumbled upon a video of Vanessa singing online and reached out to her. He offered her a record deal, as well as an invitation to move into his communal home in Santa Cruz. For most of our conversation, Cuccia described the house as a “commune,” but eventually, she did use the word I had been thinking: cult. Like any good cult, this one had a few combustible elements — drugs (mostly Molly), sex, and a con involving a treasure chest buried somewhere in Hawaii. The community finally imploded when the leader went off the rails; Cuccia attributes the breakdown to his jealousy over her popularity among the other women.

Although she was left reeling by the loss of this makeshift family, she says her time in Santa Cruz served a definite purpose. For one, the women in the house became her first focus group, helping her to test new crystal shapes and encouraging her to keep creating. Additionally, Cuccia’s disappointment over the lost record deal spurred her ambition to succeed on her own. She summarizes this outlook using a quote from Cher—the ultimate guru–who, when her mother told her to settle down and marry a rich man, famously responded: “Mom, I am a rich man.”

And so Cuccia moved back to Long Island and began selling Chakrubs. Six years later, the product has been featured by Vice, Teen Vogue, Glamour…the list goes on and on. Cuccia is excited about the recent launch of the Forest Line, which was inspired by childhood fairy tales and is made entirely out of eco-conscious wood. Her first book, a sort of how-to manual for using the crystals, comes out in June. Now that she has a team of employees to help run the business, she feels free to focus on other ventures, and plans to spend more time making music. 

It appears as if Chakrubs may be just one stop on Vanessa’s spiritual journey. When I met her on a Friday evening, she was peacefully sipping an iced Chai and looking forward to heading off on a spur of the moment trip to Miami. She’s been through some ups and downs, but seems totally un-bitter about the men who wronged her. She’s also thirty years old and evidently not at all stressed about her next move. If this is what crystalline sex toys can do for your mental health…well, let’s just say I’ll be ordering one.

For the full story and more content, get your copy of Phosphenes #5 – “Freedom.”